I definitely don't know what's going on. I'm not even sure I know what's happening anymore. But I cannot wait to come to your town and respect your traditions. I have been on TV over five times.

May I divulge a secret? I have purchased a large metal ring. I will use it to keep all of the keys to the city that are given to me by the mayors I impress with my showmanship.

Live comedy is straight up amazing because people gather to watch it in a spectacular setting rather than ogling an evil phone screen in some horrid grey dank little corner.